Welcome To Earth David

I haven’t really had a whole lot to blog about this week. I just noticed also that I didn’t do the normal Monday Muscle Madness post this week….. ooops! Sorry. I’ve kinda just been in a slow motion state of mind this week I guess. Sometimes I need a week of carelessness to refocus my mind on the things I need to be doing. Call it a short break from life that I am having right now…. yeah, that’s it. About the only things that I have gotten done so far this week…. well lets see…. Monday I spent the whole day at home playing Wii Sports Bowling…. Tuesday I spent part of the day out at the lake enjoying the scenery and sunshine which was interrupted by a phone call from my mother who had to make an emergency trip to Panama City, Florida to babysit my niece and guess who was nominated to drive her down there…. it was me…. yayyyyyyyy. So I frantically grabbed everything and jumped in my truck so that I could get home and drive her down there…. but halfway home I forgot that left my laptop on a picnic table and had to go back to the park and get it….. then I drove home and took a shower and went to pick up my mom for the four hour drive. We didn’t leave home until 8:30 p.m. and didn’t get to my brothers house until right around midnight last night. I spent the night and got up this morning and drove home. When I got home I cut my grass and did some laundry and then went shopping…. I didn’t buy anything major…. just a few groceries and new video game, a t-shirt, and a hat. And now I am at home and I am so glad that I don’t have to do anything tomorrow. All I plan to do tomorrow is play video games. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I also attempted to start writing a new personal journal this week because a lot of crazy shit happens to me that I want to write about but don’t want the whole world to know about, but I failed at that attempt so maybe I’ll try to start on it next week when I go have my quiet time somewhere.

A letter I wrote tonight to someone who can still make me cry…
This originally started out as some poetry I was trying to write, but it ended up being more.

I CAN’T COMPETE WITH THAT

I’m sorry I had to write this but for some stupid reason I started crying after I got off the phone with you this evening. Isn’t that funny. 16 years later and I still cry….

It’s been years since I sent that letter saying mean things to you, and I don’t remember what all I said back then but I have regretted saying all those mean words ever since. I was just so angry that you had found someone after me and I had been waiting for a chance to get back to see if you might come find me. I was angry that it wasn’t me you were going to spend your life with, and there were some other things that contributed to my madness as well regarding those letters. That was around 14 or 15 years ago.

I don’t blame your partner for being so jealous of you then, and even more so jealous of you now. He’s had 14 years with you, and those 14 years of happiness and joy that he’s got goes far beyond the 16 years of a fucked up life that I’ve had since I last saw you. He got to go where I wanted to go, with you. He got to live the life that I wanted to live, with you. He got your love that I wanted so bad. It took me 12 years to fully get over not having you in my life. There were times during those years that I didn’t care if I was dead or alive because you weren’t there, and I know that it is for that reason alone that I never got any farther in life than I did. I was too depressed to try. Yeah I missed you that bad. I still miss your silly ass sometimes… just not as bad these days I guess… maybe…whatever …. Anyway….

You’ll never know what I went through in my mind after you were gone. You’ll never know what you meant to me and how hard it was to let you go, even after I knew that it wasn’t and would never be my place to be with you. I’ve spent many years knowing that the only dream I ever really had will never come true…. and that was the dream I had to be with you… a dream that has long faded away. I have faced the fact that I will go on living and never have what he has with you and that no matter who I may eventually end up with, if I end up with anyone at all, it will never feel like the right life for me because there will always be a small part of me in my heart that won’t let you go… but I will try to be happy with it, just like I am trying to be happy just being your friend and because of the blessing I have recieved for having your friendship I would never do or say anything to come between you and him.

I look at myself now, and listen to you talk about how wonderful your partner is and how great your lives are together, along with all the wonderful things that you guys do together….. the extravagant vacations, all the expensive toys, the houses, paying all those big bills and enjoying the big money lifestyle and I know that I could never have made you happy because I couldn’t have supported the lifestyle you love so much. For everything that I am, everything I’ve ever been, and for everything that I may or may not ever be, I have nothing that can compete with what you have with your partner. As much as it hurts sometimes to hear how happy you are with him and with your life, it makes me happy knowing that your living a great life and that you have someone who loves you that much to be so jealous the way he is. That is something I’ve never had and I wish I knew what that felt like.

I wish that I could go back in time and rewrite that letter to say how happy I am that you guys found each other. Then maybe I wouldn’t have to feel so bad that we all can’t just be friends and laugh about days gone by. You have something amazing with that man and I find it so hard to believe that after all of these years that he would get mad knowing that we have talked as friends and nothing more. If he could read what I am writing right now he would see that he has nothing to be jealous about. I wish that I could tell him myself how sorry I am for fucking up what might have been a great friendship with you guys so many years ago… or even if it might not have turned out that we’d all be friends at least I would like for him to know that I am sorry about those letters. I was a screwed mess back then. I had lost the one thing that up until that time in my life I had found that I loved, which was you, and the other guy I was with before I found out about you and your partner blew his brains out with a pistol. The two guys I loved most in my life back then were gone and there was nothing I could do about it…. so now you know why I was so crazy back then… but I’m over all that now and I am so thankful for all the little phone calls we have and for the chance to say we are friends….. but sometimes I have to wonder how far that friendship goes because if something were to ever happen to you I would never know it. And the reason I wouldn’t know it is because nobody would call me to tell me. And the reason nobody would call me to tell me is because nobody even fucking knows that I’m here.

I know it may sound like I’m fussing and raising hell, but I’m not. I’m actually quite sad. I’m sad that you can’t be honest with your partner about us talking AS FRIENDS and I’m sad that our friendship may never go beyond a phone call every now and then. But if thats all our friendship can be I’ll be happy with that. I’ll take the phone calls over not being able to talk at all any day. I just wish you could tell your partner about it and not be so afraid that he would get mad and I wish that he was better understanding about it. I love you Donald. I always have and I always will. And I love Chuck as well even though I don’t know anything about him…. I love him because he has taken care of you all these years. I think he has done a lot more for you than I would have ever been able to. You should let him know that. Maybe he won’t be so jealous anymore.

I finally got my own Guitar Hero 3 game today and a guitar hero t-shirt (bought seperately) for my Nintendo Wii. I have been dieing to get this game for weeks now. I have never played this game before but have watched many people playing it and always wanted to try it. I thought this game was going to be easy….. OH NO IT ISNT!!!….. but it is pretty freakin’ cool and might I add fun!! So far at this point I have only played this game one time and I am anxious to finish writing this blog entry so that I can get back to the game. I just wanted to post my first score on the song Slow Ride which you can see in the tv screenshot I took with my camera below. I only got 23% on my first try on the easy level which I guess isn’t bad since I have never played the game before. I guess this is going to be one of those games that will take a lot of practicing to be able to play it good. I think I’m going to be up very late tonight playing this game.

I got booed off the stage on my first try…… too funny!!!!

It’s that time of the week again. It is week #10 in my Monday Muscle Madness picture post. Each Monday I post a workout inspiration picture and talk about my progress in getting in shape. About the guy in this weeks picture. I don’t know who he is so don’t ask. I found this picture on this blog after searching online for two hours this morning trying to find a good picture to post today. This morning I went back into the spare bedroom and dug out my dumbells and did a short freeweight workout. I did a couple of shoulder press exercises and some dumbell curls to work my biceps, and then I did some crab walks across the floor… which I haven’t done since I went to basic training for the Army in 1990, and then I called it quits! It was a very short workout, but the point is I actually did a workout involving weights. That is something I haven’t done in ages. Could this be the beginning of my actually starting to workout the way I want to and get into better shape? I hope it is.

Well since I just wasted two hours to write this post I think I’m gonna load my bike up on the back of my truck and drive out to the lake and spend the rest of the afternoon riding it through Long Cane Park.

My webstats have been blowing up over the past couple of days with folks searching on information about Monday nights brawl between John Cena and JBL. On Monday Night RAW July 14th, 2008 wrestling fans witnessed what could have been the fatal end to one of the world’s most loved WWE wrestlers, John Cena, in a brawl he had with JBL that led up to JBL attempting to murder him by bashing a car in his face. However, as fans will be glad to know, as stated in the following article clipping I unashamedly stole from the WWE website, John Cena is ok and will be fighting on Sunday.

“Priceless” Collision

Earlier in the night, John Cena & Cryme Tyme had challenged JBL and two partners of his choosing to a Six-Man Tag Team Match. The self-made millionaire went for the best, recruiting the “simply priceless” World Tag Team Champions Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase, after they interrupted Kelly Kelly’s pending match and intentionally humiliated “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan.

Even though he handpicked his partners, JBL ended up disqualifying his team in the course of the match. Cena pursued his Great American Bash opponent into the parking lot, where the self-proclaimed “wrestling god” was waiting to club the Chain Gang Commander with a tire iron. After knocking Cena unconscious, Layfield propped him up and attempted to smash a car into the prone Superstar. Luckily, John Cena managed to escape at the last minute and was only grazed, meaning that Cena vs. JBL will still take place on Sunday night.

Incase you missed the WWE broadcast on Monday night, here is a clip of the parking lot brawl and the car crash. Don’t you just love how they do stuff like this to get you hyped up for those PPV’s!

I started collecting button pins in March of 2007. Most of my buttons have been purchased from Jera’s Custom Buttons on ebay. When I made my last button pin purchase on ebay just a short while ago, I wrote that I would display on my blog my entire button collection. Well, since I don’t have all of my buttons in one place, because some of them are put away in storage somewhere, I can only show all of the buttons I have purchased from Jera’s Custom Buttons store because I do happen to have all of those in one place out in the open. So here is the bigger part of my button collection and all of the buttons I have bought from Jera. I have found this form of button collecting to be pretty fun but it can be a little expensive sometimes. I estimate that I have spent around $75.00 on the 123 buttons pictured below…. not all at one time of course. I have no idea what I’m going to do with all of these. Perhaps someday when I get a better place to live in maybe I’ll create some wall hangings to display these on.

20 Chris Evan’s buttons.

30 Mark Walhberg buttons.

30 Justin Timberlake buttons.

6 Absolutely Fabulous buttons.

9 Heath Ledger buttons from the movie Brokeback Mountain.

9 Jake Gyllenhaal buttons from the movie Brokeback Mountain.

6 Madonna buttons.

7 Linkin Park buttons.

6 Depeche Mode buttons.

Ok so I wouldn’t know Adidas Logo 2 from Adidas Logo 1… whatever! But I do know that I just scored a really good deal on these brand new shoes on ebay. This is the first pair of shoes I have ever bought online and I am a little skeptical about the purchase. I have always gone to a shoe store where I could try on the shoes before I bought them to make sure they fit ok so you can imagine why I was skeptical about bidding on these shoes. The big reason however why I did bid on them is because the “buy it now” price was only $23.99 + $9.00 shipping for a total of only $32.99 which is a great deal I think on a pair of Adidas shoes. Other considerations that played into my buying these shoes online were 1.) the sky high price of gas and the fact that I didn’t really care to make a special trip to go buy a new pair of shoes, and 2.) I really need a new pair of shoes because the nice pair of shoes I bought just a few months ago are already worn out. Actually I need a couple of two or three new pairs of shoes because I go through shoes like a fish goes through water if that makes any sense. My shoes get dirty very quickly and it sucks a lot of times when I want to go do things like just go to the mall and all I have are one pair of dirty shoes to wear. You can’t go to the mall with dirty shoes on. People will look at you like you are a fucking bum. So I guess I’ll be looking for more good deals on shoes on ebay if these turn out to fit ok. I think for the price I paid these are a decent looking pair of shoes.

That is me dancing around with my Wii Zapper after finally beating the 4th level in Links Crossbow Training. It took me five days to do it so I am pretty happy to finally be moving on to the next level. I know some of you people out there that read this post will probably laugh because it is taking me so long to move through this game. Well, if I keep going… hopefully at a faster rate than I already am, then this will be the first ever video game that I have beaten ever in my life and I do intend to beat it… the game that is haha.

His name is Scott Caan. Fit, fine as hell, and makes me severely embarrassed that I don’t work harder to get in better shape. Ok I’m going for a walk now.

A father passing by his son’s bedroom, was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made, and that everything was picked up and tidy.
Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed,

‘Dad.’

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the
letter, with trembling hands.

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing to you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with
Mum and you.

I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I
knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings’,
tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much
older than I am.

But it’s not only the passion, Dad. She’s pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t, really
hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with
the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and
ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so
Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit, so you can get to know
your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Jason’s house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in
life than the School report that’s on the kitchen table.

In keeping this website and writing in my blog I have one rule that I strictly adhere to… I do not under any circumstances write about my job or where I work, but only for this post I will make an exception. I don’t know if I am right about this, but I kinda have a sneaky suspicion that my blog has been found by a person that I work with. It’s not anything that really surprises me, as I knew it was bound to happen at one point or another. It’s just kinda weird knowing that someone out there who thought they knew me is out there reading what I’m writing and really getting to know me for who I really am…. you know, the person outside of the job. I don’t really care about it to be honest. This is not my first website and it definitely isn’t the first time I got “discovered” on the internet. I mean…. I have videos on You-Tube, pictures all over dozens of websites that I won’t mention in this post, literally thousands of comments I’ve posted on other blogs that link back to my website…. so it was only a matter of time before someone I knew from work found my spot here.

But like I said, I’m not sure that this person really knows about my website. It was just a suspicion I got after he made a comment to another co-worker I was having a conversation with. The comment he made was something like “stop talking, get his blog address and leave him a comment”… or something along that line. I’m thinking he probably was just trying to be funny, but what adds to my suspicion is that this person knows I spend a lot of time online. Maybe he googled me, who knows, who cares? I certainly don’t. But you know how it is… when one person finds out, the whole goddamn planet will know it and if word spreads about my website at work, then a lot of people are going to be surprised I think, or maybe not. I don’t think I have any secrets that I hide. In the past few years I’ve gotten to be pretty honest about answering straight forward questions with a straight forward answer. If a person is not afraid to ask me about something then I am usually not afraid to answer them honestly as I have somewhat discovered, however it is not always true, that those who do ask the questions are the ones you can trust the most. So I don’t think I’ve written anything in this blog that would surprise any of my co-workers all that much…… but it’s still kinda weird knowing he or they are out there “reading” me. Whatever!

I have been seeing a lot of concentric circle artwork lately in ad designs, paintings, webpage backgrounds, even on billboards down the street, and I have become quite intrigued with the style as an art form and it’s limitless use of color. I was playing around in photoshop and decided to try my hands at creating concentric circles and came up with this little art piece. My circles don’t perfectly line up and I didn’t have any particular color scheme in mind when I started this. I just made circles, colored them, layered them, and lined them up the best I could and all in all I like how this came out. I love how the colors play in this since I am a color freak. I think my limited photoshop skills really show here but I don’t care. I had fun, which is what artwork is all about.

Dear visitors and friends, I have added a new 88X31 plugboard in the sidebar where you can plug a link to your site for free. Be sure to read and follow the rules. Have fun plugging your websites and be sure to come here often to replug your site. I hear these plugboards are pretty popular and link spots go fast.

::|:: Plugboard Rules ::|::

I have installed this plugboard to give you a chance to advertise your personal websites and blogs, craft stores, etc. Etsy and Ebay shops are also welcome on the plugboard. Anyone with stupid or poorly designed websites are not welcome. If I can’t read it, I will delete it. Abuse of this plugboard will not be tolerated. You may only plug one page per website at any given time. Please also abide by the following rules.

1. Do not plug pornography, hatred, discrimination, or hacking websites. I will be on top of this.
2. Wait until your button has been pushed off the board before plugging again.
3. Use buttons which are 88×31px in size and direct linkable! If your button is on a free host (e.g. Freewebs), you probably can’t direct link.
4. The friendly rule of plugging is to include a plugboard of your own somewhere on your website so that others can plug on your site as well. You can get a free plugboard here.
5. I reserve the right to remove button links to sites I feel are inappropriate. Yes I know some of these rules sound harsh but they must be enforced.

I will probably be moving my plugboard to the sidebar soon. Click here for my list of the best sites I have found to plug your buttons on.

Happy Plugging!!

I’ve been playing this game ever since I bought my Wii Zapper a few days ago. I finally made it to the fourth level which wasn’t really hard to do, but I cannot seem to make it past the fourth level and it is pissing me off! I have to say however that this is a pretty cool game so far but I kinda feel retarded because I have read that some people finished the entire game in like less than thirty minutes. Hmmmm those must be the really hardcore gamers that are killing this game so fast. So anyway… yeah I’m stuck at fourth level right now. Let’s see how long it takes me to advance to the next level haha.

“I gotta play Nintendo!”. No my first thought this morning when I woke up was not to eat breakfast. It was not to go take a shower. It was not even to go look out of a window to see what the weather was doing. My first thought this morning when I woke up was that I had to go play Nintendo Wii. It was almost like I had to catch up on the hours I missed playing Nintendo games while I was sleeping…. I haven’t had that happen since I was a teenager. Note: I had already been up until 2 a.m. playing video games. Flashback to 1989 when my friends and I would stay up all night playing games on NES and then sleep half the day away just to wake up and start playing games all over again. We were such bums back then lol… but anyway…… I am starting to feel like an 18 year old all over again because of this Nintendo Wii thing and my addiction to it. It is so much fun. I am becoming addicted to it pretty bad. I haven’t woken up like that in many years with the urge to jump out of bed and go play a video game. That was pretty awesome. That is me in the picture playing Links Crossbow Training with my new Wii Zapper that I bought yesterday. I also bought Farcry Vengeance yesterday along with the Wii Zapper, but I haven’t had a chance to play that game yet. I’m still trying to beat the Links Crossbow Training game, which by the way is a pretty cool little game that comes with the Wii Zapper…. incase you didn’t know. Ok I’m through talking about my urge to play Nintendo. I gotta get back to my game now. Later!